August 14, 2019

Gone Too Soon…

I’m feeling overwhelmed these past three weeks, hence I have no blog post. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally challenged. True enough when it rains, it pours. I just hope that blessings yung bumuhos but it wasn’t.

My son even told me, ”Mommy, we had three funerals in one year”. At first, I said, why three? Then I realized, we really had three funerals in less than a year, it started last October 2018, when my aunt-in-law passed away, then my grandmother last February 2019, and just this month, my sister-in-law left us too.

To be honest, hindi pa totally nagsink-in sa akin na wala na siya because it happened so fast. It also started in October and I can still remember that day because it was my grandmother-in-law’s 80th birthday. We’re on our way to Pangasinan and she still attended the birthday party even she was not feeling well.

On our way home, my husband kept on telling her na didiretso na kami ng hospital but she declined and sa apartment pa rin siya nagpahatid. In her mind, dysmenorrhea lang yun and kaya na ng pain reliever. The following day, I was surprised when I saw her Instagram Story, na-admit na pala siya and the doctor advised that she needs to undergo D&C.

I told her that I experienced that too when I had a miscarriage and I know some friends na nag-undergo din ng D&C because of heavy bleeding. I thought that she will be okayed after the D&C procedure kasi naging okay na naman ko after pero kahit nakalabas na siya ng hospital she was still not feeling well.

After a week, she went back to the doctor to check her biopsy and we were all shocked when we learned about the result, she has Uterine Cancer. Woah, who would ever think na yung pagiging anemic niya, abdominal pain and heavy bleeding pag may menstruation are signs of cancer na pala.

Even we know that is already stage IV, we did not lose hope because we know that there is nothing impossible and we knew that there are cancer survivors kahit stage IV pa. We are not rich and cancer treatment costs a fortune, but my husband together with my in-laws find ways to make sure that my sister-in-law will get her treatment.

From November, she underwent a series of radiation, chemotherapy, surgery, tomotherapy, and brachytherapy. She was not able to finish her last two therapies because she was not feeling well last month. And because of that, she was admitted to the hospital until God called her home.

I don't know who is the author of this poem but this is so true.

Our lives go on without you
But nothing is the same, 
We have to hide our heartaches 
When someone speaks your name. 
Sad are the hearts that love you 
Silent the tears that fall, 
Living our hearts without you 
Is the hardest part of all. 
You did so many things for us 
Your heart was kind and true, 
And when we needed someone 
We could always count on you. 
The special years will not return 
When we were all together, 
But with the love within our hearts 
You will walk with us forever.

She fought for ten months and her family witnessed her struggles every treatment. I even shared a quote “The worst thing in the world is watching someone you love suffer in pain when there is nothing you can do to stop it.”

Sometimes I wonder why cancer takes a good heart and soul. At 36 years old, she has so many things to do and so much to live for but she was gone too soon. It broke our hearts to lose her but we know we cannot question God and we just need to have faith that there are reasons and purposes for everything. Our only consolation is we know that she is in a better place now and she is no longer in pain. She will be missed. Ethan lost his Tita Ninang but gained an angel.

1 comment:

  1. Also not knowing your loved one was in such pain that kill him. Lord jesus pray for us
    Keep me alive to remember