May 11, 2012

Dependency


Growing up without my parents beside taught me to become independent. I always do things on my own and as much as possible I don’t ask any favor. I don’t want to disturb or bother someone for my own problems. So people who are close to me think that I’m very tough.

But things change when I got married, all of a sudden I realized that I’m not that strong and I need someone to help me and to take care of me. Now, I’m so dependent with my husband so even life is difficult, I don’t like him to work abroad because I know that I can’t take a long distance relationship.

Though I know that we can have a better life if he will work abroad but we never dream to be super rich, all we wanted is a simple life where we can afford our needs and some wants. But even he is not working abroad; his job entails a lot of out of town and out of the country trips. So whenever his away, I’m always scared and paranoid, what if something happens and he’s not beside us.

I’m always paranoid because there are instances that I need to go to doctor for my son’s check-up, my son was sick but we have no choice but to commute because my hubby was in business trips. Two years ago, we experienced a signal #3 typhoon; I couldn’t sleep because I was really scared. We have no electric supply and water supply for almost 48 hours. I don’t even have an internet connection for two days because the antenna was been hit. I was saving my cellphone battery so I can still text or call my husband who was in Shanghai that time.

During those times, I always say, why now when my husband wasn’t home? But that's life! Another thing that scares me is when I need to fix something at home. I have no idea about tools such as self-drilling screws, bolt, grinding wheels, locksmiths and many more. But I know some tools like screwdriver, hammer, electric drill etc. So whenever he’s away I always pray and hope that no more bad experiences.  

I always take one day at a time but time is really slow whenever he’s not here. How I wish I can fast forward the time so he will be home soon. Six days of waiting plus one more day and he will be home again. 


2 comments:

  1. mommy michi so sweet... hehehe! ... it's really hard to be alone... i'm still single but i'm so dependent to my boyfriend, and i grew up with yaya always taking care of me... but for you, it's a little bit different, you have ethan and no yaya around. I believe now when manong ariel said he has 2 babies, sabi ko, huh? si ethan lang nakukwento mo... yung isa pala ikaw. hahaha! worry no more he's coming back na, just in time for the mother's day.

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  2. Well what can I say who has a husband who is always away? hi hi. but I understand your situation. It is more difficult there to be alone than here. Anyway, God is with you and He will provide you the strength and the courage you need.

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